Thursday, January 3, 2013

At the start of 2013

Its the beginning of a new year.  And now that last year has ended, there is a lot on my mind.  About work, family, friends, relationships and life.  Yea, life.
Work:  I mean, really, work is going great. I love my new job and consider myself incredibly lucky to have gotten the new job and the one I've been wanting and longing for.
Friends: I can count myself a lucky girl for having the friends I do in my life. I have one group of friends that I see every week at dance. I love them and I love the time I spend with them doing something I love.  I have another group of friends that I can count on to set my head straight when I am being irrational.  They are the girls I can share details with...and not worry about any judgment
Family: I am glad for family. Even with the drama that surrounds a portion of it... I am glad I have my mom and dad and brother. I wouldn't trade them for the world.  Its always good to know that no matter what, they love me and I love them.
Relationships:  This one is a sticky subject.  This year has forced me to ask a lot of questions. Some good, some not so good.  Jay and I have been to 3 weddings so far this year.  I have also had more than a handful of friends separate this year. It has not been an equal balance... and it makes me question relationships in general and mine more specifically. I mean, how does a relationship work? How can two people expect anything to last long-term when we live in a world of instant gratification and short-term commitments?  What will it take to keep a couple together? How can you trust the solidity of your own relationship when you witness those around you falling to pieces? Is it even possible to have a long term, long lasting relationship?  I would like to think so. But there are so many times... especially lately, that I feel like it would be so much easier if things were different. Different, like I wish relationships didn't feel like so much work sometimes.   For me, for Jay, for anyone who finds themselves in a relationship. Yes, I know relationships are hard work. They require a lot of effort by both people. But sometimes I don't want to put in the effort. Sometimes I want relationships to be easy. Sometimes I want to have more romance and passion and that Hollywood-esque spark than what I see. Not just in my relationship, but in everyone else's.

I wouldn't trade my relationship with Jay, with my wonderful friends or my quirky family for anything else. doesn't mean that my relationships are perfect. They aren't. They never will be. But I guess, as the new year approaches... I can only hope that my relationships stay solid, grow stronger and never burn out.

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