Its the beginning of a new year. And now that last year has ended, there is a lot on my mind. About work, family, friends, relationships and life. Yea, life.
Work: I mean, really, work is going great. I love my new job and consider myself incredibly lucky to have gotten the new job and the one I've been wanting and longing for.
Friends: I can count myself a lucky girl for having the friends I do in my life. I have one group of friends that I see every week at dance. I love them and I love the time I spend with them doing something I love. I have another group of friends that I can count on to set my head straight when I am being irrational. They are the girls I can share details with...and not worry about any judgment
Family: I am glad for family. Even with the drama that surrounds a portion of it... I am glad I have my mom and dad and brother. I wouldn't trade them for the world. Its always good to know that no matter what, they love me and I love them.
Relationships: This one is a sticky subject. This year has forced me to ask a lot of questions. Some good, some not so good. Jay and I have been to 3 weddings so far this year. I have also had more than a handful of friends separate this year. It has not been an equal balance... and it makes me question relationships in general and mine more specifically. I mean, how does a relationship work? How can two people expect anything to last long-term when we live in a world of instant gratification and short-term commitments? What will it take to keep a couple together? How can you trust the solidity of your own relationship when you witness those around you falling to pieces? Is it even possible to have a long term, long lasting relationship? I would like to think so. But there are so many times... especially lately, that I feel like it would be so much easier if things were different. Different, like I wish relationships didn't feel like so much work sometimes. For me, for Jay, for anyone who finds themselves in a relationship. Yes, I know relationships are hard work. They require a lot of effort by both people. But sometimes I don't want to put in the effort. Sometimes I want relationships to be easy. Sometimes I want to have more romance and passion and that Hollywood-esque spark than what I see. Not just in my relationship, but in everyone else's.
I wouldn't trade my relationship with Jay, with my wonderful friends or my quirky family for anything else. But...it doesn't mean that my relationships are perfect. They aren't. They never will be. But I guess, as the new year approaches... I can only hope that my relationships stay solid, grow stronger and never burn out.